My relationship with “things” has been complicated since childhood. I started to notice very early on that I did not like completely new toys, for example; in fact, the older the toy, the more I loved it.
This sensation, this way of relating to objects, only became stronger as I was growing up, especially noticeable in how I felt about tools: I seem to recall reading Rilke lamenting that mass-manufactured objects lack soul; I understood that feeling implicitly. I always thought that a new tool was almost like an empty battery, a blank slate – useless at first – then slowly charged up with my own whatever-you-want-to-call-it until it became “mine”, until it became useful. For instance, I felt that my old screwdriver or a hammer were like active participants in whatever it was I was trying to do, helping along and preventing errors. It was always heartwrenching when an old, familiar tool would break beyond repair and had to be thrown out…
Among many classes of things and objects, tools always stood out to me personally. A thing made specifically to facilitate further “making,” the signifier of a person’s conscious drive to create. There was this one particular type of tool, though – the one from the darker side of the spectrum – that fascinated me enormously. Conversely, circumstances of my life arranged themselves in such a way that I encountered and had access to weapons pretty early, when I was still a boy.
That old joke: “Why are academia politics so vicious? Because so little is at stake” found its inversion here, in the contemplation of tools for murdering creatures – in weapons. Here, so much is at stake, including the life itself – both of a killer and a victim.
The powerful, dark aura around guns, swords, and other killing implements was immediately obvious to me; it could not be missed. I both hated it, was fascinated by it, and respected it. I felt it had to be approached with extreme caution and care, for the sake of my own moral well-being.
Now, an older man, I still find weapons fascinating, and in many ways a true expression of our civilization’s achievements. My revulsion with that darker side of human reality has also grown stronger, and while I was thinking about making work about these less tangible aspects of the relationship between a person and tools for killing persons for a very long time – I felt that I was not ready, and certainly not perceptive enough to approach this subject in a competent manner.
I needed a substitute, something or other that carried a comparable gravity – but without the stench of murder attached to it. There are relatively few types of objects that belong in this category, and I chose to use the one I understand well: the photographic camera.
This series of images, L’Objet, focuses on exploring an emotional connection between a tool and a creator, using as a prop photographic cameras of all types, held by a user. I chose the French spelling of this word because of a certain linkage between how I perceive things and Jacques Lacan’s ideas. This is a work-in-progress.
